time to update my long-neglected blog :)

so, update on life:
1) once again single and searchin'....
2) working as a nanny in orinda, ca for 3 kids ages 13, 10, and 6 (boy, girl, boy)...this week i decided that i actually really do love my job (even though some moments are certainly very stressful)....but for the most part, it's awesome....and yesterday morning Nate gave me TWO hugs!!! i think that's the first time actually that one of the kids has actually given me any kind of affection...i've worked there for four months now and so i'm glad to get some kind of sign that they don't like, HATE me. but yeah, i thought summer would be HORRIBLE, but being by the pool all day has been sooooooooooooo aaaaaaamaaaaaaaazing. i'm like, hmmm..."i get PAID for this!?"
3) since this is MY blog and i can put whatever i want, i want to take this opportunity to say how grateful I am for my Savior and that through HIM each of us can be truly happy and have joy for forever. He is the only One to be there guaranteed 100% of the time, and I want to become more like Him. I want to be able to bless other people's lives, and do His work, because I think it makes me happier than anything else.

hope YOU'RE choosing to have an awesome summer :)

sufjan stevens concert last night was AMAZING

so amytron and i went to a concert last night. it rocked. that's all i can say about that.
the past two weekends, i have been up to incredibly festive/seasonal/whatever activities. on the 16th a-rad (HAHAHA) and i went to the "pumpking festival" in half moon bay. it was cool. saw a 1550 lb pumpkin. huge man.
last weekend my brothers christopher and dylan and sisters cara and cat and i went to a corn maze. it took us like 1.5 hours...ish. thank GOODNESS we had christopher. he was a great navigator.
my birthday (23!) earlier this month was AMAAAAAAZZZZZZIIIIIIING. like best birthday ever probably. well at least, best in a long time. slept over @ amytron's the night before, slept in/no work, visited h, :-D, had dinner w/ my fam and went to the temple...it was sooo good. then the night after, a-rad and i went to dinner and he got me an AWESOME present.
anyway, things are good and super busy. sanaa is amazing. :)

The Voice

So I have learned tons and tons of lessons about being a mom in this past little while. And one of the lessons I call: The Voice. This is when you have to speak really really gently like you're talking to a little kid whose feelings are really hurt and you have to be totally into the person you're talking to, trying to just be really gentle with them. I totally learned this from H and I use it with Sanaa. And it's important to remember not to overuse it or else it won't be as effective. But it works so darn well when used correctly. Any PHP'ers know what I'm talking about?

anxiety for this week: 11 out of 10.

*breathe* it won't be that bad.

my poor blog!

Oh Dear Blog,
I am so sorry for neglecting you for an entire month. It has been a good/bad/interesting/great/etc month. Lots of ups and downs. Right now kindof in an up. Definitely an up. Last week on Thursday I got to see H!!! Yayyyyy! It was GREAT. I got to talk to her for FORTY FIVE WHOLE MINUTES JUST ME. :-)))))) This past weekend was really great, too. Saw "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas." Interesting...and went to a swim meet, got my car fixed at Big O, went to Old Navy, made Alisa a b-day present...good stuff. Sunday got to talk to Alisa for awhile which was grrrrreat. Very very productive...
*sigh* job stuff w/ sanaa is totes good, but the parents drive me totes crazy.
pictures later of the past month. it's been really good. :)

saturday is a special day!

^too bad for all the people that don't understand that reference, huh?

anyway, today wasin fact special because it was fun! at ten i taught ava piano, then right afterwards alisa and i went for a bike ride! i had asked her last weekend about riding and so she took me out. i definitely want to get a bike now. i got to ride her mom's, which cost like two grand. sooooo nice.

then i went to a guitar lesson which was awesome. :)

then i came home and have been chilling ever since. nice. missionaries came over for dinner. it was alright.

On Thursday I got to see H!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! Naomi and I went to Berkeley for the Educational Group and got to see H. omgooooooooooooosh so awesome. except for the whole her telling me i look like shit part. yeahhhh that was not so great. it was right after alan was about to walk out and then he was liiiike, "i'm concerned. that's all i'm gonna say." bla bla bla. then she was like, "how do you like that feedback? i dunno if that was the reaction you were hoping for...but do you want me to be honest with you? you look like shit."

man that sucks. but she said she would come to the support group in two weeks if i follow my mealplan. so that's some major mucho motivation yo. i definitely want to see her there! cause i miss her times a million!

today they told me i could sleep in!

but now i'm awake (5:33 a.m...went to be at midnight:thirty) and can't sleep...i have SO much on my mind, so i figured it'd be good to get it out in this bloggio.
the thing on my mind in the present moment is that, get this, this week....i am spending each night in a different part of the bay area!! kinda cool, huh!? here's a breakdown:
sunday night: i spent mostly at home, in benicia (northeast bay)
monday night: belmont (the peninsula)
tuesday night: san francisco (the city duh) with amytron!!
wednesday night: lafayette for the support group. it was awesome last night...maybe that's why i have so much on my mind...
thursday night (tonight): palo alto for tutoring in O Chem at Stanford...my tutor is SO smart, he is getting his PhD in O Chem, wow...(probably why i pay him so much, too)
friday night: san jose (south bay) to hang out with LAUREN! YAY!! i haven't seen her for awhile so i'm reallllllllllllly excited. the reason i'm staying down here is cause saturday i have to do a cpr/first aid certification class in burlingame for my job, so i didn't want to drive all the way back home/come back.
saturday: dinner in the east bay in berkeley probably although possibly oakland with TRICIA!!!!!!!!!! yay who i am also VERY excited to see yay yay yay!!! but the reason i'm not going home right after the cpr class is because i apparently am picking up my friend naomi's friend from the airport that night lol...i know weird. but yes, so i am excited. good week, huh!?!

next weekend (after this) guitar lesson, riding with alisa, going to monterey with amytron!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, going to berkeley on thursday, tutoring on wednesday....i'll find even more exciting ways to split the other night i'm sure....

anyway. what have i been up to, other than all this fun exciting madness? the past couple weeks have been kinda similar actually. last week, dinner with amy on tuesday, stanford wednesday, berkeley thursday. home friday :D

it has been really really great having a job and income and stuff. totally. i mean, i love my job most days. like yesterday and tuesday it was great!!! the time with sanaa always goes by really really quickly. yesterday we went to this place called Coyote Point in San Mateo. Wow, it was GORGEOUS. Also it was a completely perfect day to go...a little overcast...I video'ed Sanaa it was funny. Mmmm just thinking about it, it was SO nice. So we spent awhile there and then came home, drank milk, chatted, took a shower (well she did hahah) and then cleaned up and then the day was done! Thursdays always go really quickly, too, because she has gymnastics at 3 and we go to the library beforehand, so that pretty much knocks out an entire day of having to come up with anything. And Friday she has a playdate, so there ya go. But even on days when she is tired and we just come home, somehow it always just goes fast. Usually we are always just preoccupied some way or another. I think this is reason for me to NOT get a TV in my house when I'm older...hmmmm....

I'm trying to think of our other adventures. Mostly library visits, etc....I definitely am going to start taking more pictures and probably go a scrapbook...This summer is going to be so fun with her; yesterday her mom, R, and I were talking and they are members to the Discovery museum in S.F. and she said we could go on lots of zoo trips and things, so yes! It will be great!

What else have I been meaning to blog about. Hmmmmm....I miss H. :( It's pretty intense nowadays.