Heapfuls of Happiness

Sometimes I really wonder how I ever deserved to be so blessed. This summer has been so fantastic and wonderful that I just feel enveloped in blessings and fun. Isn't that a cool visualization-- being wrapped up in so many things to be grateful for and having so much fun? It's almost too much to handle, believing that I am really living it and that for some reason or another Heavenly Father has given me this amazing time. It is a testament to me that He does care and that I really have a lot of serving and loving to do in order to somehow show Him that I appreciate it!
Last night Brady and I went and saw The Secret Garden at the Shakespeare Festival, (many thanks to my momma for giving Brady such an awesome tip on Monday!). It was lots and lots and lots of fun! B-rad is so much fun to be around and he is super sweet! Tonight we are driving to Salt Lake because his mission companion is having a wedding reception, and following that we are going to pick my mom up from her rehearsal with the MoTab and maybe go to Spoon Me! Oh boy oh boy Spoon Me is fantastic :) That will be loads of fun!

Anyway, not much else going on. I wish I had some hilarious anecdote to impart with you dear read, but I do not....just a whole lotta love goin' out to ya!

B-b-b-b-benny and the jets....

This morning, took the lil kiddos to the library. We read. We loved it. They were so good, in fact, that we then went to D.I. and the kids picked out some $.50 toys. Being with them brings me back to the simple things in life. Seriously, they get super excited over such small things! It was really fun just looking at toys and playing with them in D.I. hahaha. I am pretty grateful to have such awesome jobs this summer.

Ok, so quick rundown of the past week 'cause it has been one of the best weeks of the best summer so far. So I saw C-Bunch on Tuesday like I said, and then last Wednesday a bunch of guys from my ward got together (at this AWESOME house) and we watched Bandit's on a projector. I totally recommend that movie! It was really original and way funny. Anyway, one of the guys there was Brady, one was Jacob (one of Brady's BF's), and David (Jacob's older brother). We had tons of fun hanging out!
Okay, so then Thursday night I hung out with Devin and we played a game called Nardy; it's very similar to backgammon and he got it in Armenia on his mission. We played til about midnight! Way fun! Anyway, he invited me to go to a concert with them on Friday night, but I had already told Amy I would watch Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2 with her Friday night. That was alright...sometimes it is frustrating dealing with her time schedule, but it worked out and it was totally worth it 'cause I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!! Haha...
K, so then Saturday I babysat from 2-7 which was wonderful and I just adore spending time with those kids!! They are so dang cute and we had loads of fun traipsing around downtown Cedar and the SUU campus :-)
Blah blah blah, okay, so Saturday night I got to go see Henry V at the Shakespeare Festival here in town! David (one of the guys I hung out with on Wednesday) took me to go see it and it was REALLY good. Like, seriously good. I was pretty worn out from the long day, and the play was three hours long, but the actors were phenomenal and I am totally lucky to have had the chance to see it!
Sunday...OMGOSH this day was super super good. So Brady and I had been texting back and forth a little bit since the first time we hung out (last Wednesday, 6 days ago). We ended up going to the fireside together (which was remarkable, by the way) and then around 8 a bunch of guys (mostly the same people from the group last Wednesday) were getting together to play Apples to Apples! It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much fun. There were like 10 people total I think? Brady, Jacob, David, Fish, Brian, Deb, Rachel, Shari, and me. Ok so 9. And yeah, it was pretty much an awesome time had by all. We played til midnight and then Brady, Jacob, David, and I went to Wendy's (after the Sabbath ;-)). Yum. We ate at a park with swings and then we were all pretty tired to I went to bed. SUPER fun time.

Yesterday was also amazingly fun. Double whammy in the morning seeing J (which was the best, like always!) and then C, the D. C was not helpful, UGH. I could practically feel the frustration dripping off her...she is definitely an ED virgin. So will I see her again? Hmm, probably not. But I won't see J again for 13. more. days. That's a long time. Boo :(

Ok, so then went to lab where we took some rotten-egg smelling acid and refluxed it with some ethanol to make pineappley smelling stuff!!!! Isn't that so cool!? Tell me O chem isn't cool. Me=nerd maybe a little bit? You know you like it.

THEN, GUESS WHO I GOT TO SEE!?! MY MOM AND CAT! (Short for Cathryn, the baby of the family). lksndflksndflksnflknsd it was great to spend an hour and a half with them. For REALLSSSSS. Cat is soooo big now and SUPER TAN AND DARK!!!! Definitely an inspiration for me to tan more hahaha. *Sigh* It was amazing seeing them : ) Talked to my mom lots and we went to Garden House for lunch and Brady was our server :) Him and my mom talked in German because they both went to Hamburg, Germany on their missions. I was sad that they had to leave so soon, but my mom had to get up north for her BYU music conference. It will be phenomenal going home on the 13th...I get to stay for 10 days!

Anyway, that is mostly everything that has happened in the past week. Last night=FHE and Bachelorette! and tonight is the Bachelorette "after show." Goooood times.

On old high school friends and more...

Damn. I can never think of good titles.
Anyway, last night a super good old friend from high school was in CC-town on a road trip through the ol' US of A on her way to grad school across the country, and so we went to Pastry Pub and talked a TON and it was GRAND! None other than my favorite C-Bunch! :-DDDD It was incredibly refreshing to get to spend an uninterrupted 2.5 hours talking with her. I felt like I could have talked to her all night long, but they were getting up early this morning. Anyway, we discussed her roadtrip, her college plans, how the summer has been going, and we also talked for a long time about the lil' uns each of us nanny(ied) for...and a ton of other stuff.... I just love good conversations like that. I miss that feeling of being able to talk to people for so long and so naturally and just being yourself and loving every minute of being with someone. She is such an amazing person and a good friend, and that was something I definitely needed last night.

I don't know what I want to do with my life now. Be a teacher? Apply to cell molec grad programs? I am also feeling pretty interested in neuroscience grad programs which will also pay a stipend, so maybe I'll do that? Who knows.

Sigh. Something else I've been thinking about is how when I was younger, I never questioned my ability to do anything. I never questioned whether or not I was a good leader, or a good communicator, or whether I would be good enough as me. Now, I feel like I am constantly questioning and even criticizing all these characteristics. It is one thing to constructively criticize in order for improvement to occur, but now it is to the point of just never feeling like it will ever be enough. Will it ever be enough? When that answer is no, that is just one big truck running over you. Yes sirrees, that is a Megatron-sized semi truck pounding you straight into the tar on the hot pavement (I am a huge Transformers fan; let's all face it--Shia LeBeouf is hot diggity).

So how do we sort through all the jumbled data we have in our minds--some pointing to the results that we ARE good enough, some data pointing to the result that we ARE NOT good enough-- and come to a conclusion?

I'm trying to think of a clever way to say...

I am freaking tired. What is wrong with me!? It is summer. I haven't been tired since...well, since sometime last semester. During school. Which is not unusual during the school year. But during the summer!? Boo.
Could this be due to the fact that for the past week I have stayed up ridiculously late reading The Book Thief? Possibly. It is an incredibly absorbing piece of literature. I highly recommend it.

At any rate, right now I am at work. And there has been a girl here for over an hour using our shredder and it is exceedingly annoying. Especially since I have things to shred! Like 5 pages! Haha well she can take all the time she needs. I suppose. Since, ya know, it's like, my shredder and everything.

Yesterday I had a moment where I remembered what feeling happy and carefree was all about. It was fleeting.

This is pretty much a short entry, but lastly I just want to mention how AMAAAAZING my mom is. She is like, an anchor and emotional support for me. We always talk on Sunday nights. And it is one of my favorite rituals of the week, unquestionably. She is super wise and really teaches me how to just chill out and not stress and just be a good person and always reminds me of the things that are the most important. She is such an amazing person! She has had seven kids and has taught us all so much about living the gospel and serving others wholeheartedly with your talents and just being a good person. I can't say enough good things about her. She has sacrificed so much for me and for all my brothers and sisters. She is such a good example to me of being patient with my brothers and sisters and me as we go through our own personal trials. She supports me and loves me no matter how many dumb things I do! Not only that, but she'll still give me bites off her plate :-) (like I said, sacrifice!) She has exposed me to so many things so I am such a more cultured person. I love musicals! I love that she loves me.

PF Flyers > Converse

So, I'm still kindof getting this thing started. I promise, in the future, there will be a plethora of pictures from my real life and that will make everything just so much more interesting (sarcasm). Anyway, today I would like to address an issue that has been on my mind for a few days. And that is the fact that I have an ego about what kind of shoes I wear! OK, who doesn't?! Next time you're at the mall, count how many people you pass who are wearing Converse shoes; your counting skills need to be adept because trust me, you will be counting some pretty high numbers.
Now, next time you go to some public place, count the number of people who are wearing PF Flyers. Hardly anyone. And that is why, to me, they are awesome. I love wearing my PF Flyers. (I have a natural colored pair and am getting a new red pair in the mail today!)

At any rate, an update on life. Things are suuuuuuuuuuuuuper amazing. I wish this summer could last forever! Saw Harry Potter 6 last night with H. L. and B.C. It was really fun to hang out with them. Tonight I am babysitting for a girl I work with. Tomorrow morning nannying. Work. Tomorrow night doing O Chem w/ Darren for long hours. Saturday I am tutoring my boss's daughter in algebra. And Saturday night I am nannying again.

Not much else going on.

I guess, on a final note, I'll conclude with some thoughts that go along with my blog theme of getting run over once in awhilein the game of Frogger. You see, sometimes the metaphorical "truck" that runs us over can sometimes be our own thoughts and ideas, criticizing ourselves or just being really hard on ourselves! For me, it used to be a lot more subconscious, I wouldn't even realize I was doing it! And I know that it's like that for a lot of people. But (I think it was) yesterday, and I just very momentarily glanced at a picture of myself from graduation and just had some really bad thoughts about how awful I thought I looked in it and it was really depressing! Sad, huh? And moments later I targeted those thoughts as being really unconstructive (is that a word?), and that it was a metaphorical car that squashed me and made me feel all bad. (A car because it wasn't as big and bad as a truck ha). Anyway, I think it helps to realize when we do this to ourselves so that we can stop it from happening in the future :)

Peace yo, i'm out. (Probably to continue looking at really cute clothes :-P )

The Initial Post: Like An Awkward Meeting

Oh yes, because that is always, unquestionably, what the first post is equivalent to. It is like an awkward meeting, one in which you know the person you're meeting has already heard about you, but you have no idea what they're like, and you have heard about them, but your persons do not have anything in common, and the Silent Moment happens, and beyond that it is just a get-me-out-of-here situation.
But hopefully blogging won't feel like that for long. :)
It just seems that way because in one's first blog post, one typically begins by explaining why they started a blog in the first place, yadda yadda yadda...then they generally continue with what they want to write about all the time, etc. etc. etc. and what their blog is meant for, i.e. "an emotional outlet," a "place to share recipes," or, the classic example, "to record the daily going-ons in our growing household that is filled with love 24/7." Well, seeing as I am not using this as a tool to share recipes (although I cannot guarantee that will not happen at one future point or another), and I am, in fact, not using this blog to share the details of a growing household, I don't really have a specific goal in mind for my (hopefully) many posts yet to follow. I can, however, guarantee your readership satisfaction in that it will be unmatchably interesting and that my every word will have you dying for more!
Kidding!

But really, why the frogger blogger? OK, when I was in my youth, oh-so-long-ago (err, a few years, maybe?), we had a pretty old school game AKA Frogger. And having spent hours upon hours trying to beat it (which never did happen, incidentally), I know a thing or two about getting squashed. Running into obstacles. Hopping onto lily pads to try to get to the other side, only to realize that it is NOT a lily pad, but rather a dangerous alligator ready to bite your head off! EEEK! Anyyyyway....

That's the dealio.