So H suggested I read Siddhartha a few weeks ago. I am about finished with it, and I think it is a very profound book. It's a relatively easy read, but it contains an abundance of insightful concepts.
My favorite quotes from it:
"And Siddhartha said softly, as though speaking to himself: 'What is meditative absorption? What is leaving the body? What is fasting? What is holding the breath? These are a flight from the ego, a brief escape from the torment of being an ego, a short-term deadening of the pain and absurdity of life. This same escape, the same momentary deadening, is achieved by the ox driver in an inn when he drinks a bowl of rice wine or fermented coconut milk. Then he no longer feels his self, then he no longer feels the pain of life-- he achieves momentary numbness. Falling asleep over his bowl of rice wine, he reaches the same result Siddhartha and Govinda reach when, through long practice sessions, they escape their bodies and dwell in nonego. That is the way it is, Govinda." (pg. 18-19).
I like this quote because I can apply to my own situation. What do I feel when I engage in my eating disorder? I feel 'momentary numbness.' I no longer feel my self, the pain of life. And as attractive as that lifestyle may sound, it also numbs out anything possibly good out there, as well. :-/
"Slower yet the pondering man walked, asking himself: 'But now what is it that you were trying to learn from teachers and teachings, and what is it that they, though they taught you a lot, could not teach you?' And he found this: It was the ego whose meaning and essence I wanted to learn. It was the ego that I wanted to get rid of, to overcome. But I was unable to overcome it, I could only trick it, could only elude it, could only hide from it. In truth nothing in the world has occupied my thoughts so much as my ego, this enigma that I am alive, that I am unique and separate and distinct from all others, that I am Siddhartha [Diana]! And there is nothing in the world I know less about than me, than Siddhartha [Diana]!
The slowly walking thinker came to a halt altogether, captured by this last thought, and immediately from this thought another sprang, a new thought, which was this: That I know nothing of myself that Siddhartha [Diana] remains so alien and unknown to me-- there is one cause for this, just one: I was afraid of myself, I was running away from myself! I was looking for atman, I was looking for Brahman; I was determined to tear my ego apart, to peel it layer by layer in order to find in its unknown innards the pith behind all the husks, atman, life, the divine, the ultimate. But in the process I myself got lost.
Siddhartha opened his eyes and looked around him. A smile spread over his face, and a profound sensation of awakening from a long dream filled him down to his toes. Immediately he resumed walking, walking fast, like a man who knows what it is he has to do.
Oh, he thought, taking deep breaths, now I will not let Siddhartha [Diana] slip away from my again! No more will the point of departure for my thinking and my life be atman and the suffering of the world. I will no longer kill myself and tear myself to pieces, trying to find the secret beneath the rubble...I will learn from myself, be my own student. I will learn about myself, about the mystery of Siddhartha [Diana].
He looked around him as though he were seeing the world for the first time. The world was beautiful, full of colors, strange and enigmative. Here was blue, here yellow, here green, the sky was in movement and so was the river; the forest was fixed in place and so were the hills-- all beautiful, all mysterious and magical. And in the middle of it all was Siddhartha [Diana], the awakened one, on the path to himself [herself]." (pg 42-43)
I love this quote. I think it's pretty self-explanatory-- the idea of complete excitement of self-discovery. It's just awesome.
"Vasudeva [H] listened with great attention. As he [she] listened, he [she] took everything in, origins and childhood, all the studying, the seeking, all the joys, all the troubles. Of the ferryman's [H's] virtues, this was one of his [her] greatest: He [she] knew how to listen as few people do. Though Vasudeva [H] spoke not a word himself [herself], the speaker felt him [her] receiving his words into himself, quietly, openly, unhurriedly, missing nothing, not jumping ahead through impatience, attributing neither praise nor blame-- just listening. Siddhartha [Diana] felt what happiness can come from opening oneself to such a listener, having one's own life-- one's seeking, one's suffering-- enter this other's heartbeat." (pg 109-110).
I love this one because it reminds me of H. She is such a phenomenal listener. And this quote just articulates so wonderfully the amazing way she listens. And I want to be a good listener, as well.
Anyway, those are my top favorite quotes from this book. I really like it-- I would encourage you to read it if you haven't.
If I understand correctly, I know who H is right? As in the head hancho of group. If that is right I totally get it.
ReplyDeleteDo you ever wonder how she became that way, I mean, she used to be one of us. When I was in PHP I used to try to think about H in a way that connected her to us. I remember when I didnt know and I thought she would make stuff up to make us feel better (or worse lol) when we would tell her our deepest most intimate secrets. But I learned that we are one in the same, you, me, amy, H, A, all of us. We learn to get better and to love ourselves by watching them. They are our figure heads on the front of our ships. (that female statue in the front of ancient ships)
BTW: I have been sick for a while and this may not make sense but I hope you understand anyways. :)