Sunday, January 17, 2010

title-less

Bloggy-oggy-ogg-io,
This weekend has been alright. On Friday I got to talk to J! Hooray! That was great. :-D
Saturday Daniel, Sam, Dylan, Cat, Carly and I went to the San Jose Sharks game because they were playing the Oilers. Unfortunately, the Oilers lost :(
Church today was good. I love my new calling as the Sunbeam teacher!! It is SO GREAT!
Last week PHP was good every day. Friday I was reminded about being human, which really really struck me. Like, I can actually allow myself to be human. Humans eat. Humans make mistakes. Accept that. Not that eating is a mistake. That was worded weirdly. Anyway, there ya go, an example of me being human ^.

This past week I've also started reframing a lot of the things that come out of my mouth; I can do that when I recognize my cognitive distortions, which we talked about on Wednesday and that was very helpful.

Thursday night before support group, Amy and I hung out and went on swings and it was so fun! Then we met up w/ Bay and Elliot and went to Herbivore for dinner and I got this ceviche salad thing which was okay...not great...but at support group, I saw a friend who is really having a hard time and is really in her disorder. That was really, really, realllllly hard for me. On Friday I really wanted to throw in the towel. But I've been thinking loads about that this weekend. And I thought of an analogy. I think that going through this process is a lot like being in a marathon. It's a really, really, really hard thing to do-- even HARDER, I think, than being in a marathon. And all the other people in the program going through it with you are in the race as well. And the people who just give up to fighting their Eds are the runners who give up and stand along the sides of the race, and don't go anywhere in life. And for the people still running, it's REALLY really really hard for them to see their friends do that. And that's why it's so important to stick with the people who are experienced runners, because they understand what you're going through, and they'll definitely help you make it to the end.

So yeah, that's my analogy.
I definitely way way way way waaaaay hate my body. Times a million. I do want to quit all the time. But I know I won't. But that doesn't change the fact that I do want to quit. And I need help not to.

1 comment:

  1. i can attest, this is way harder than a marathon...but i love the analogy....

    ReplyDelete