This morning I feel really like I have had an epiphany. These past few days I have felt so hopeless and anxious, etc. I've just been feeling like, "What is so great in life to live it feeling so awful about myself at this weight? I have nothing to live for. Life just has nothing to offer." Etc. Which is obviously an incredibly negative way to think. But yesterday, in check out group, Alan just suggested to me to pursue my imagination, because the previous Friday I had expressed so much fulfillment from doing Drama Therapy and using my imagination.

I really appreciate my own imagination. I value it. I even just love the word: imagination. It's such an incredible thing!, one's imagination. So I decided to start using it for good, instead of bad. Weird concept, huh? I mean, our imaginations can definitely serve of for good or for evil-- we can imagine our lives as some bum on the street with no friends or connections, people judging us for our weight, etc....OR we can imagine our lives being surrounded by people that help us feel good about ourselves! In any atmosphere we want! Improving ourselves by increasing any talent we want! Like playing the guitar! :-) I mean, really, I can IMAGINE that for myself, and it's really exciting!

I'm just really grateful for my imagination. And that instead of imagining myself as some fat ol' ugly messed up person, I can imagine myself achieving things and feeling fulfilled and loving other people and having them love me, too. And loving myself, even.