Let's Be Honest

Yesterday was not the greatest in terms of the ED. And I am getting a cold sore. :(
This is not the first time a small Herpes symplex II (or is it I?) symptom has presented itself upon my beautifully formed lips (lol) in consequence to my anticipation to visiting Home. After briefly discussing the matter with B-rad, he says sometimes he feels stress even when he is looking forward to something happy and exciting. Exciting stress? I dunno.

Consciously, I am EXTREMELY excited to visit Home. Not only is it one of the most beautiful places in the country, not only am I going to have the pleasure of gracing my presence to my amazing BROTHA which I haven't been able to do for nearly a year, not only will I be able to hug and snuggle for hours upon end with my beautiful hot smokin gorgeous lovely caring sisters, not only will Cat and Dyl tell me everything that is going on in their lives, not only will I be enveloped with love by my parents, but I will get to see Wicked in S.F., I will get to go to an A's game, I will get to see The Time Traveller's Wife (oh, Eric Bana you are so hot), I will get to visit Mrs. V, I will get to go to my home ward (twice!) I am just SO LUCKY!
Can't wait.

But still. In the depths of my mind, there are gloomy worries. What will I do without any structure? How will I react to being in the setting that so much despairing time passed at one point? My somewhat bleak perspective is that any, however small, positive changes I have made for myself will end up shattered and I will once again be at the start. It would not be so bad if it just affected me. However, it affects my parents. My siblings. All of our relationships.

I just want to keep busy and have fun next week and not worry about that.