On old high school friends and more...

Damn. I can never think of good titles.
Anyway, last night a super good old friend from high school was in CC-town on a road trip through the ol' US of A on her way to grad school across the country, and so we went to Pastry Pub and talked a TON and it was GRAND! None other than my favorite C-Bunch! :-DDDD It was incredibly refreshing to get to spend an uninterrupted 2.5 hours talking with her. I felt like I could have talked to her all night long, but they were getting up early this morning. Anyway, we discussed her roadtrip, her college plans, how the summer has been going, and we also talked for a long time about the lil' uns each of us nanny(ied) for...and a ton of other stuff.... I just love good conversations like that. I miss that feeling of being able to talk to people for so long and so naturally and just being yourself and loving every minute of being with someone. She is such an amazing person and a good friend, and that was something I definitely needed last night.

I don't know what I want to do with my life now. Be a teacher? Apply to cell molec grad programs? I am also feeling pretty interested in neuroscience grad programs which will also pay a stipend, so maybe I'll do that? Who knows.

Sigh. Something else I've been thinking about is how when I was younger, I never questioned my ability to do anything. I never questioned whether or not I was a good leader, or a good communicator, or whether I would be good enough as me. Now, I feel like I am constantly questioning and even criticizing all these characteristics. It is one thing to constructively criticize in order for improvement to occur, but now it is to the point of just never feeling like it will ever be enough. Will it ever be enough? When that answer is no, that is just one big truck running over you. Yes sirrees, that is a Megatron-sized semi truck pounding you straight into the tar on the hot pavement (I am a huge Transformers fan; let's all face it--Shia LeBeouf is hot diggity).

So how do we sort through all the jumbled data we have in our minds--some pointing to the results that we ARE good enough, some data pointing to the result that we ARE NOT good enough-- and come to a conclusion?